Skip to main content

2017 and Beyond

If this sounds like a very late new year resolutions post, that's because it is. I never quite finished expounding on my goals for the year, but I wrote 10 things down, so I figure it's worth posting. Plus, I'm going to have lots of cause to post more in the coming months, as I (plan to) chronicle my upcoming foot surgeries, so I may as well resurrect the blog now.

I started out last year's resolutions post saying, "This past year was one of the most challenging years of my life." But 2016 has proven to be a hearty rival. The year was heavily mixed with positive and negative events, emotions all over the place. The good: I ran again, I swam, I came back to yoga, I wrote a lot (just not here), I blossomed at work, I loved my family hard. The bad: I injured myself again and couldn't run, I gave up on biking (but later picked it back up), I floundered trying to find purpose, I distanced myself from friends, and I nearly drowned in my anxiety. But I tried, in big ways, to accept each situation I was in if I could not change it. I wasn't perfect, and it didn't always work, but the effort is what I remember as I look back on the year. And that counts for a hell of a lot in my book.
On to the assessment of what I set out to do in 2016:
2016's Goals in Review
  1. Have more faith in things.
    Despite having a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings about my life and the world around me, I did attempt a more positive outlook. I'll always be a realist, but I'm learning that's not synonymous with pessimist.
  2. Meet swimming goals.
    Yes! I completed a challenge of swimming 111 miles from September 2015 to 2016. And continued to swim throughout the year, but perhaps with less gusto.
  3. Write more.
    I did this, but you wouldn't know it. I only published 10 blog posts last year. It just wasn't a priority. But I filled a journal with all the things that weren't appropriate to say publicly, and that was more important, and it's given me some interesting personal insight into everything I experienced throughout the year.
  4. Visit a new place.
    Not really. I did travel more, but mostly for work. I went to several cities (one of them twice) that I've been to before: Boston, Atlanta (x2), Minneapolis, and Columbus/Dayton/Yellow Springs. 
  5. Follow through with grad school.
    Funny story. I completed one course in spring, decided I didn't like that program, and withdrew. Then I got antsy for something meaningful in my life, again, and reapplied to the program I'd applied to before starting this other one, and got accepted. Again. So I'm starting it for real in spring, and I'm very excited this time.
  6. Nurture close relationships.
    Sort of. I had a hard time determining what a close relationship was last year. Family-wise, it was not difficult to know, and I treasured those relationships with all my heart. The friend sphere was different. I felt outside of the friend group I knew primarily from running, and, with a couple of exceptions, I struggled to feel connected to other friends. I think I came around at the end of the year to a more solid understanding. I'm giving myself an A for effort.
  7. Allow new relationships.
    I did. Once. When the year was almost over. It counts.
  8. See my potential.
    This was a strange and vague goal. I'm not even sure what I meant when I wrote it (potential for what?). I actually believe I have great potential :) 
  9. Spend more time making food.
    I did this, and I loved it. I also learned I love making food for other people.
  10. Run.
    Check. It wasn't a lot, and I had my stops and starts, but I did it as much as I reasonably could have. And I appreciated every single run.
2017 Goals
  1. Get outside of my head.
    I don't know if this is a possibility, but I really want it to be. 
  2. Do what feels uncomfortable.
    I don't mean like running a naked 5k; I'm okay not doing that. More like breaking my routines—which I cling to dearly because they make me feel safe. Initiating more friend-type things, going to events where I likely won't know anyone, and maybe even considering a triathlon. 
  3. Blog more.
    I started this blog way back in 2008, when I ran my first 5k (in 36 minutes!), and running was a whole new world to me. I geeked out about running, and soon racing, and I wanted to document my trainings and other experiences. It's been a ton of fun, even though the past couple of years have seen rough times, and the running element of my posts has become less and less. So where do I go from here, now that I'm not focused solely on running and racing? Perhaps the year will bring into light an answer.  
  4. Visit a new place.
    This one stays on the list. Perpetually. My travels used to revolve around an event, like a marathon. It's been a long time since I've just gone somewhere to explore the place. And there are so many places I want to explore—within and outside of the U.S. I just need to plan to do it, without any other reason.
  5. I want a house.
    That's not exactly the language of goals, but saying "buy a house" sounds too scary. Maybe I can just settle in to someone else's ...
  6. Run, but keep doing the other stuff.
    I've found some balance in branching out to other activities. I still favor the endurance sports, and primarily running, but having options gives me variety so I don't get bored, challenge so I don't get complacent, and a sense of peace in knowing I don't have to give my everything to one sport, so I can let go of the need to be perfect in my pursuits. 
  7. Allow new relationships.
    This deserves another go-around.
  8. Meditate.
  9. Show more gratitude.
  10. See more of Florida.

Comments

B.o.B. said…
I'd so be down for a Florida mini-trip! Where can we go? I've never been to Jekyl Island. lol

People Liked to Read...

Surgery Chronicles: I Exhale

I've really been holding my breath with this recovery, more so than the last one for some reason. After getting past the three-week point (which was two weeks ago, when I started to write this), I felt a little more at ease. Since then I've been changing my own dressing daily and slowly weaning off of crutches so I can now walk around in the boot—hands-free! I'm still a slave to icing and elevating as much as possible throughout the day. But the very best part? There's no other foot left to do. After this, I'm done, done, done. I can start to return to a life not defined by sitting and waiting and feeling confined and limited and trying my hardest to heal but having little actual control over any of it.

I wrote in my last post about the difficult emotions I'd been having throughout this second surgery recovery. I think I underestimated the psychological toll I would take doing one foot right after the other. And while there was a feeling of elation after gettin…

Surgery Chronicles: Hard Feelings

I'm one and a half weeks out from my second foot surgery, and, by all important measures, I'm doing well. But boy has the past week been difficult. In the first few days post-surgery I was in a pretty good mood; the surgery had gone well, I was in the excellent care of my mom, and I had made it past the last major hurdle of this months-long event. All I had to look forward to was recovery and progress and gradually returning to my normal life, whatever that might look like.

But even though I've gone through this process once already, it's still just as difficult this time around. There's the constant worrying about this weird feeling or that new pain, the accidental step in the middle of the night when I forgot which foot was injured, and the agonizing wait time between appointments. Now it's compounded by concern over whether I'm taking good enough care of my first foot. Did I ruin the surgery when I stubbed my toe falling off an exercise ball? Am I using …

Surgery Chronicles: 12 Weeks and Progress

I'm now more than 12 weeks recovered from my second (and final!) foot surgery, and life is starting to feel a little more normal. When I last wrote an update, seven weeks ago (still blaming Irma for all of my delays), I had just gotten off of crutches but would wear my boot for two more weeks. I've been out of the boot and walking in shoes for just over five weeks. The constant discomfort I've felt in my foot from swelling is finally starting to wane. I work in the office now, I do my own groceries, and I even attended a work conference recently, which meant lots of walking at airports and the conference hotel, frequent standing, and few opportunities to elevate and ice. I was very concerned about how my feet, particularly the left one, would endure. And while it wasn't comfortable, I made it through, no worse for the wear in the end.

I joined a new gym/community center recently, with a new and beautiful outdoor pool, and I'm so happy that I'm able to use it n…