|Monday, 9/1||Regular Run||5.25||9:35|
|Wednesday, 9/3||Regular Run||10||9:53|
|Thursday, 9/4||Regular Run||7||9:48|
Total Weekly Mileage: 24.55
This past week not did not end up the way I'd hoped it would. Although it started strong, with high mileage weekday runs and little pain, by the time Friday rolled around, my foot was hurting more than usual. I hoped it was a fluke. I went to bed Friday night and hoped a good night's sleep would have me feeling better in the morning and ready to conquer 20 miles.
That did not happen. I met my friend Nicole for an early warm-up mile, and that mile didn't feel great. I couldn't decide whether I should just quit there or try to start with the group and hope for the best. Nicole reminded me that I bailed on her this same time of year last year, around her birthday, because I felt like I was going to pass out. So I felt guilty enough to at least attempt doing the run. But after another mile in, I could tell it was going to cause further problems for my foot, so I had to stop. I went back home and slept for a long time. I decided I needed to take some more time off. And I haven't done a damn thing since. I've slept in (i.e., not gotten up early to run) four days in a row now, and I'm starting to feel depressed. I don't know what I'll be able to do in the next couple of days, let alone come marathon time. I halfway want to just go out and run and see what happens.
The very frustrating thing about this bursitis diagnosis is that I can't tell how much worse it might get if I do run, and then I don't know if it would be worthwhile to try to push through the pain so I can meet my training/marathon goals. However, it was only months ago that I had to take a six-week hiatus so I could heal. I don't want to do that again. I guess I'm in a place of not wanting to accept that I'm hurt. Running has given me so much confidence and positive perspective; yet, when I don't have it, I feel just awful. I keep saying I'll get on my bike and ride, and even though I've pumped my tires and set out all my bike gear, I just can't make myself get on it and go. Perhaps I just have too much going on in my life right now--too much change already about to happen to focus on something new (more on that in a later post). I'm trying to have a better perspective; after all, this is not a catastrophe--it's very, very far from it. I still have much that I am able to do and many people who love me. Thank goodness for that.